Business Correspondence Critique (Blog Post #3)

American Home Assurance Company
Singapore




9 Sep 2008


Khoo Li Tik
232 Bain St
#06-21
Singapore 180232




Dear Insured

SUBJECT: Complete Set of Terms and Conditions
Policy Number: 2102102102
Vehicle Number: SBY2007S


We have established from our records that due to a recent glitch in our system, the Terms & Conditions of the Policy you have received are incomplete. Please discard the earlier set of Terms & Conditions as we attach no the complete set of Policy Documents for your reference. Attached too for your reference is the relevant endorsement in respect of the MCF terms.

We would like to highlight that the Terms & Conditions incorporate the Motor Claims Framework (MCF) initiative which took effect as of 1 June 2008. The MCF is an industry-wide initiative aimed at enhancing the level of service for all motor policyholders. The MCF was announced by the General Insurance Association of Singapore in March this year.

As a motor policyholder, you are required to do the following after the occurrence of an accident involving your motor vehicle:

a) report the accident to us with your accident vehicle (whether damaged or not) via our approved reporting centres or approved workshops within 24 hours or the next working day of the accident; and
b) contact us or the approved reporting centres or our authorized workshops to arrange fro towing of your disabled vehicle to our approved workshops

Please note that with effect from 1 June 2008, our main office at 22 Martin Road will no longer accept reporting of accidents. A list of our approved reporting centres and/or approved workshops may be found in the certificate of insurance. Alternatively, you may call our 24-Hour AIG Auto Assist hotline at 6338 6200 for the approved reporting centres in the event of an accident.

We apologise for the error and inconvenience caused. Should you need information about your Policy, please call our Customer Service Hotline at 1800 419 300 (Monday to Friday: 9am to 5pm).


Yours faithfully


American Home Assurance Company
Customer Services Group

This is a computer-generated letter that requires no signature.


Incorporated in the United States with liability limited AIG Building, 22 Martin Road Singapore 239058


This grammatically-sound letter has words like “for your reference” and “should you need”, showing that American Insurance Group (AIG) is trying to build rapport with its customers, who would also feel that AIG is giving them significant attention.

Some important points have been underlined and boldfaced so that readers can immediately notice them upon opening the letter. A little background about an initiative was explained such that commitment to customers was expressed. This letter, with specific information, like technicalities and dates, has an overall good flow. It ended off pleasantly with AIG’s apologies and Customer Service hotline.

However, some changes can be made by AIG to show more sincerity, since it is also conveying its apologies.

Firstly, the recipient’s courtesy title and last name can be used in the name and salutation, respectively, like “Ms Khoo” in this instance. Secondly, “technical fault” would be a better substitute for “glitch” to make the letter sound more professional. Lastly, neither the name and designation nor a signature of any person-in-charge was included at the end of the letter. A person of some rank should authorize this letter to acknowledge AIG’s mistake, or else it would just look like a mere information letter.